Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if someone’s genuinely enjoying your company or just being polite. People often won’t say they’d rather be elsewhere, but their actions can speak volumes. Here are 15 signs indicating they’re not as into hanging out with you as you’d hope.
1. They’re Glued to Their Phone
We all glance at our phones occasionally, but if someone’s constantly checking theirs—scrolling through social media, responding to texts, or checking notifications while you’re talking—it’s a clear signal they’re not fully present. If their attention is on their screen instead of on you, it suggests they’re not engaged in the moment or conversation. While they might claim they’re just waiting for something important, if this behavior is frequent, it’s likely a sign they’d rather be elsewhere.
2. They Give You Short, Unenthusiastic Replies
When someone’s engaged in a conversation, they’ll usually provide more than just one-word answers. If their responses are limited to “yeah,” “sure,” or “fine,” without offering any details or thoughts of their own, it’s a good indication they’re not interested in the discussion. Engaged people tend to elaborate or ask questions. Short replies can feel like they’re shutting the conversation down and going through the motions.
3. They Don’t Ask You Anything
A genuinely interested person will ask questions about your life, interests, and thoughts. If you find yourself carrying the conversation and they aren’t showing curiosity about your day or your experiences, it’s a red flag. When someone’s just nodding along and giving non-committal responses without following up, it shows they’re not trying to connect on a deeper level. Curiosity is a clear sign of engagement—if they’re not asking questions, they’re probably not invested.
4. They Avoid Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the most telling signs of whether someone’s engaged in a conversation. When someone enjoys your company, they’ll naturally make eye contact as they listen and respond. It suggests they’re not fully engaged if they’re avoiding your gaze—constantly looking around the room, focusing on their phone, or staring into the distance. A lack of eye contact can also signal discomfort or a desire to be somewhere else, mentally or physically.
5. They Keep Checking the Time
If they’re frequently glancing at their watch or phone like they’re counting the minutes until they can leave, it indicates they’re not having a good time. When someone’s enjoying themselves, they usually lose track of time. But if they seem overly aware of how much time has passed or keep referencing it, they’re likely looking for an opportunity to exit.
6. They Close Themselves Off Physically
Body language can be incredibly revealing. Comfortable and engaged people tend to lean in, uncross their arms, and keep an open posture. On the other hand, if someone has their arms crossed, is leaning away, or keeps a noticeable distance between you, it’s a signal they’re feeling closed off. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but their body expresses what they’re not saying aloud: they’re uncomfortable or fully present.
7. They Don’t Laugh at Your Jokes
Even bad jokes usually get at least a smile or a pity laugh from someone who enjoys your company. If you’re cracking jokes and they’re giving you a blank stare or forced chuckle, it’s a sign they’re not vibing with you. Humor is one of the easiest ways to bond with people, so if your jokes aren’t landing, it could mean they’re just not interested in making that connection, or worse, they’re already mentally checked out.
8. They Don’t Contribute Much to the Conversation
A good conversation flows naturally, with both people contributing equally. If you find that you’re doing all the talking and they’re barely adding anything, it’s a sign they’re not interested. Whether they’re giving short replies or simply not bringing up new topics, this lack of contribution can make the conversation feel like a struggle. They might be physically there, but they’ve already left the building mentally.
9. They Always Have an Excuse to Leave
If every time you hang out, they seem to have a pressing engagement or sudden emergency—“I forgot I had a meeting,” or “I need to get up early tomorrow,” they might be trying to wrap things up without hurting your feelings. It’s normal for people to have busy schedules, but if it happens consistently, it’s a sign they’re not prioritizing their time together. Their quick exits suggest they might not be as invested in spending time with you as you are with them.
10. They Don’t Follow Up
People who enjoy spending time with you often follow up afterward—whether it’s a quick text saying, “Had a great time!” or an effort to make plans for another hangout. If they disappear after spending time with you and don’t reach out again, it’s a signal they’re not interested in maintaining the relationship. If they consistently wait for you to initiate the next hangout, they’re likely not putting much value on your time together.
11. They Don’t Share Your Excitement
When you’re passionate about something, it’s natural to expect the person you’re with to show interest or enthusiasm, even if it’s not theirs. If you’re excitedly telling a story or sharing good news, and they respond with indifferent “ohs” or a flat “that’s nice,” it’s a clear sign they’re not emotionally invested in the conversation. Someone who enjoys your company will try to share your excitement, even if to make youel good. If they can’t muster even a little enthusiasm, they might not be that into hanging out with you.
12. They Never Initiate Contact
If you’re always reaching out to make plans or start a conversation, and they never do, it’s a sign that the relationship is one-sided. Communication should be a two-way street; if they’re not trying to maintain contact, it’s likely because they don’t care as much about keeping the relationship alive. This lack of initiative can indicate they’re not as interested in spending time with you as you might have hoped.
13. They Seem Distracted
It’s one thing if they occasionally get lost in thought. Still, if they seem consistently distracted—zoning out, giving vague “uh-huh” or nodding without truly listening—it’s a sign they’re mentally elsewhere. A genuinely engaged person will be present in the conversation, responding thoughtfully and staying in the moment. If they’re not, something else is likely on their mind—or they’re just not interested.
14. They Keep It at Small Talk
Small talk is typical when you first meet someone, but if they consistently keep the conversation surface-level, it’s a sign they’re not invested in building a deeper connection. When someone enjoys your company, they’ll share personal stories, dive into meaningful topics, or at least ask about your experiences. They might intentionally keep things casual and distant if you’re stuck in small talk territory with no sign of deeper conversation.
15. They Make You Feel Uncomfortable or On Edge
If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself or feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them, it could be because you’re picking up on their discomfort. When someone enjoys being with you, the conversation should flow easily, and you should feel relaxed and natural. If you’re feeling tense or overly cautious, it’s often a sign that something’s off in the dynamic—and they might be projecting their disinterest.