Relationships should elevate your life, not drain your emotional energy. If your partner’s actions and behavior take an emotional toll on you, they could be draining rather than uplifting you. Here’s a closer look at some red flags that suggest your partner may be taking more than they give.
1. They Suffer From “It’s All About Me” Syndrome
Do you ever feel like you’re just a listener in your relationship? If your partner consistently steers the conversation back to themselves, even when you’re trying to talk about your day or your feelings, they may have the “It’s Always About Me” syndrome. It’s exhausting when you never get to share your own experiences, and it can leave you feeling invisible. A relationship should be a two-way street, but with this kind of partner, it’s more of a one-lane highway – straight to them.
2. They Treat Boundaries Like Suggestions
Boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship. But if your partner constantly disregards yours – personal time, emotional space, or physical boundaries – it’s a sign of disrespect. They may act like your boundaries are just suggestions, something they can push aside when it suits them. Over time, this lack of respect for your limits can wear you down emotionally.
3. They are a Bottomless Pit of Unhappiness
Ever feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never satisfied? You plan a lovely evening, make thoughtful gestures, and offer emotional support, but still, they seem unhappy or unfulfilled. It’s as if their unhappiness is a bottomless pit, and you’re left powerless to make a difference. This constant pursuit of their elusive happiness can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, questioning if you’ll ever be enough for them.
4. They Cause You To Walk on Eggshells
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you should feel safe to express yourself without fear of retaliation or emotional outbursts. If you’re constantly censoring yourself or second-guessing everything you say, that’s a sign you’re walking on eggshells. Maybe you’re afraid of triggering an argument or upsetting them unintentionally. Over time, this pressure can cause you to feel constantly anxious and emotionally drained because you’re always on edge.
5. They Leave You Feeling Wiped out
Healthy relationships usually recharge your emotional batteries, but if you consistently feel wiped out after spending time with your partner, that’s a red flag. Emotional exhaustion can be harder to recognize than physical tiredness, but the symptoms are the same – low energy, feeling drained, and sometimes even dreading the next interaction. If hanging out with them feels more like a chore than a joy, it’s a sign they’re sapping your emotional energy.
6. They Carry a Cloud of Negativity
If your partner constantly focuses on the worst aspects of life, it can pull you into their negative vortex. Whether it’s complaining about their job, friendships, or life in general, their constant negativity can weigh heavily on you. While it’s essential to be there for each other during tough times, if there’s never a break from the complaints, it can impact your outlook on life.
7. They Blame You For Everything
Does your partner struggle to take responsibility for their actions? Are they quick to point fingers when things go wrong? If they’re always blaming external factors – or even worse, you – for their problems, it’s a sign of emotional immaturity. Being in a relationship with someone who can’t acknowledge their part in conflicts or mistakes can leave you feeling frustrated and like you’re constantly cleaning up after their emotional mess.
8. They Expect You to Play Fixer-Upper
Do you often find yourself in the role of the “fixer”? Your partner comes to you with every issue, from work drama to family troubles, expecting you to provide solutions. While it’s normal to support each other, it’s unfair if your partner sees you as their emotional crutch and depends on you to fix all their problems. Relationships should be about mutual support, not one-sided emotional labor.
9. They Guilt Trip You
Do you feel guilty for wanting some time alone? If your partner makes a big deal every time you ask for personal space or time with friends, it’s a major red flag. Alone time is essential for recharging and maintaining a sense of self. If you feel like you’re being punished with guilt trips whenever you try to take care of your own emotional needs, that’s a sign your partner is emotionally draining.
10. They Make You Feel Unworthy
Does it feel like nothing you do is ever quite good enough? If your partner constantly makes you feel like you’re falling short, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Whether it’s about how you spend your time, how much you give to the relationship, or even how you look, constantly feeling like you must meet their impossible standards can be emotionally exhausting.
11. They act like the Victim
If your partner consistently portrays themselves as the victim in every situation, it’s another sign of emotional manipulation. This mindset allows them to avoid responsibility and often shifts the burden of emotional support onto you. Whether blaming others for their problems or playing the victim in arguments, this behavior can quickly drain your emotional resources.
12. They Don’t Let you be Honest
Can you be genuinely open and honest with your partner? If being honest with them feels like stepping into dangerous territory, that’s a problem. Maybe you’re afraid of how they’ll react – will they lash out, become overly defensive, or make you feel bad for expressing your thoughts? In a healthy relationship, honesty is the foundation; if that feels risky, the relationship is likely more draining than it should be.
13. They’re an Emotional Wreck
In a healthy relationship, both partners should contribute emotionally. But if your partner is constantly taking – your time, energy, and emotional support – without giving much back, it can leave you feeling like a shell of yourself. Emotional freeloading happens when they expect you to be there for them but don’t offer the same level of support when needed.
14. They Use Guilt At Any Cost
If your partner frequently uses guilt as a weapon, it’s a manipulative way to control the relationship. Maybe they guilt you into doing things for them or make you feel bad for setting boundaries. This constant emotional tug-of-war can leave you feeling exhausted and unsure of your needs and desires.
15. They Take You Away From What You Love
Has your passion for hobbies or interests faded since your relationship began? Sometimes, an emotionally draining partner can sap the energy and joy you once had for the things you love. Whether you’re too emotionally tired or because their demands have taken up all your free time, this can be a sign that they’re taking more than they should.
16. They’ve Stripped You of Your Identity
Perhaps the most alarming sign is when you no longer recognize yourself. If you feel like your confidence, happiness, or sense of self has eroded over time, it indicates that the relationship is draining you emotionally. A relationship should help you grow and thrive, not chip away at who you are.