We’re constantly surrounded by societal expectations—how to act, live, and succeed. While some norms help keep society functioning smoothly, many are outdated, limiting, or exhausting. The problem is that when we conform to these expectations without question, we can lose touch with who we are and what we want from life.
1. Always Being a Yes Man
Society teaches us that yes to every request or opportunity is polite and expected. Many of us feel guilty saying no, whether it’s a favor, a social invitation, or a work task. But constantly agreeing to things that don’t align with our priorities can lead to burnout. Defy this by learning to say “no” when something doesn’t serve us.
Advice: Start by practicing saying “no” to small things. Politely decline invitations or tasks that don’t align with your priorities. Use phrases like, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m unable to commit right now.”
2. Your Job Title Being The Measure of Success
We’ve been conditioned to believe that success means climbing the corporate ladder, earning promotions, and acquiring wealth or status. But that narrow definition doesn’t fit everyone. Defy this by defining success on your terms. Maybe it’s work-life balance, creativity, meaningful relationships, or simply feeling content with your choices. Success is personal and doesn’t have to be about career milestones.
Advice: Redefine success by identifying what brings you the most joy and fulfillment. Set personal milestones that reflect your values, such as dedicating more time to hobbies, family, or personal growth rather than focusing solely on career progression.
3. Constantly Striving for Perfection
Perfectionism is glorified in today’s world, whether through career success, body image, or the curated social media feeds we see daily. But perfection is an impossible standard, and pursuing it can lead to stress, anxiety, and self-doubt. Instead, embrace the beauty of imperfection. Accept your flaws and mistakes as part of the human experience.
Advice: Challenge perfectionist tendencies by setting realistic expectations. Allow yourself to make mistakes and celebrate progress over perfection. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that imperfections make you unique.
4. Always Remain Ice Cool
There’s an unspoken rule that we must always appear upbeat, regardless of how we feel. Society tends to see vulnerability or emotional honesty as a weakness. Defy this norm by embracing your entire range of emotions and expressing them openly. It’s okay notOKbe OK. BeinOKauthentic about your feelings can strengthen relationships and relieve internal pressure.
Advice: Practice emotional openness by sharing your feelings with someone you trust. It can be helpful to name your emotions and express them constructively rather than bottling them up. Journaling can also be a valuable outlet for processing your feelings.
5. Follow the Relationship Timeline
Society often pressures us to hit certain relationship milestones—getting into a committed relationship, getting married, and having kids—by a certain age. But love and partnership don’t follow a set timeline. Defy this norm by embracing your path. Whether single, dating or in a long-term relationship, live at your own pace without rushing to meet expectations.
Advice: Stop comparing your relationship status to others. Instead, focus on what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. If you’re single, use this time to build a strong sense of self. Communicate openly with your partner about your shared goals and values in a relationship.
6. Stick to a Pre-planned Life Path
Society has long reinforced the idea of a traditional life path—graduating from school, getting a stable job, getting married, and having kids. While this might work for some, not everyone fits into this mold, and that’s okay. LiOKs is full of twists and turns, and it’s essential to allow yourself to explore different paths, experiment with new experiences, and redefine what a fulfilling life means to you.
Advice: Embrace flexibility by allowing yourself to change direction without guilt or regret. Create a list of things you want to try or explore, whether in your career, personal life, or hobbies, and take steps toward making them a reality.
8. Hustle Non-Stop to Prove Your Worth
“Hustle culture” glorifies constant busyness and productivity, implying that your worth is tied to how much you can accomplish. But this relentless pursuit of doing more often leads to burnout.
Advice: Set clear boundaries around work and rest. Schedule downtime for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and prioritize sleep, self-care, and mindfulness. Remember, rest is as crucial to your success as hard work.
9. Seek Validation from Others
We often need approval from friends, family, or society, shaping our choices based on what others think. But living for external validation can disconnect you from your true self. Defy this norm by tuning in to your own needs and desires. Trust your intuition and make decisions that align with who you are, not what others expect.
Advice: Practice self-validation by regularly checking in with yourself. Ask yourself, “What do I truly want?” rather than “What will others think?” Make tiny decisions based on your preferences and see how empowering it feels.
10. Fit In at All Costs
There’s a lot of pressure to conform to social norms to blend in, whether through fashion, opinions, or lifestyle choices. But fitting in can mean losing your individuality. Defy this by fully embracing what makes you unique. Let go of the fear of being different and celebrate it. Standing out can be your greatest strength.
Advice: Reflect on areas where you may conform out of fear of judgment. Challenge yourself to embrace your quirks, passions, or style choices that reflect who you are, even if they differ from the norm.
11. Engage in Small Talk to Be Polite
Small talk is often necessary in social situations but can feel empty and exhausting. Instead of going through the motions, defy this norm by seeking more profound, meaningful conversations. It’s okay to OK the superficial chatter and connect more authentically.
Advice: In social settings, ask open-ended questions or share something meaningful about yourself to steer the conversation toward deeper topics. Look for opportunities to create a genuine connection rather than just filling the silence.
12. Avoid Confrontation
We’re often taught to avoid Confrontation or difficult conversations to “keep the peace.” But silence can also mean suppressing your truth. Defy this by speaking up when something matters to you. Your voice is important; addressing uncomfortable issues can lead to real growth and understanding.
Advice: Approach difficult conversations with empathy and clarity. Practice active listening, and frame your concerns to foster understanding rather than defensiveness.
13. Always Strive To Impress
There’s a tendency to try and impress others through appearances, accomplishments, or material things. But living for the approval of others can distance you from your true self. Defy this norm by focusing on what makes you happy, not what you think will impress others. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
Advice: Focus on what brings you inner satisfaction rather than external validation. Try identifying one thing you do each day for your joy rather than to impress others. This will help you stay connected to what truly matters to you.