Life is full of choices, and deciding when to have kids is one of the biggest. For some women, the timing feels perfect. For others, hindsight reveals a list of “what-ifs.” Many women who delayed motherhood—whether due to careers, relationships, or personal circumstances—find themselves reflecting on what might have been if they’d started their parenting journey sooner.
1. They Feel Out of Sync with Other Parents
Starting later can make women feel out of place among other parents who are often younger. When their kids are in school, they find themselves surrounded by moms and dads who seem to have endless energy or are at different life stages. This mismatch can make socializing and forming parent-friend relationships feel harder, creating a sense of isolation. Many women wonder if starting earlier would have helped them fit into the parenting community more seamlessly.
2. They Wished They Had More Energy and Stamina
Parenting is a full-contact sport, and raising kids requires energy—lots of it. Women who had children later often regret not starting sooner when they had more stamina to chase toddlers, stay up with crying babies, or keep up with the chaos of parenting. They wonder if they could have been more physically present, less fatigued, and better equipped to handle the sleepless nights if they’d embarked on this journey when they were younger.
2. They Wish They Had More Time to Enjoy Their Kids
One of their biggest regrets is realizing they may not have as many years to watch their children grow. Starting later often means having less overlap with your kids in adulthood, whether it’s attending their weddings or seeing them have kids of their own. The thought of missing out on precious milestones or having fewer shared experiences with their grown children can weigh heavily, leaving them wishing they had started earlier.
3. They Regret How Motherhood Delayed Other Goals
For some women, having kids later meant putting their dreams and goals on hold longer than they would have liked. When their children were grown, they felt like they were too old or tired to pursue new careers, travel extensively, or try bold new adventures. They wonder if starting motherhood earlier would have freed up their later years for personal growth and exploration, creating a better balance between parenting and self-fulfillment.
4. They Had a Harder Time Getting Pregnant
Many women regret waiting to have children because fertility doesn’t wait. As we age, our biological clock ticks louder, and for some, trying to conceive later in life comes with physical and emotional challenges. Struggling with IVF treatments, miscarriages, or infertility can create immense stress and heartbreak, leading women to wish they’d tried to have children when it might have been easier. The pressure of time becomes a heavy burden, making the journey of motherhood harder.
5. They Regret Missing Out on the “Young Mom” Experience
There’s something magical about being a younger mom and having the energy to join in on the fun, relating more easily to your kids’ cultural touchpoints, and growing with them as they age. Women who had kids later often regret missing out on this phase of life, feeling like their parenting experience might have been more vibrant and carefree if they’d started earlier. They long for the youthful sense of connection that comes with younger motherhood.
6. They Wish They Had Grandchildren Sooner
For many women, one of life’s greatest joys is becoming a grandmother. Women who start having kids later often wait longer for this milestone. When their children are ready to start their own families, they may feel like they’re running out of time to enjoy the experience fully. This longing for more years to be actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives can lead to regrets about delaying motherhood.
8. They Feel Parenting Limits Their Social Life Now
Parenting in your 30s or 40s can feel isolating when most peers have passed that stage. Women who wait often miss out on social experiences that others their age enjoy, like traveling, pursuing hobbies, or spending carefree evenings with friends. They regret that parenting ties them down at a time when their friends are embracing freedom, making them feel like they’re out of sync with their age group.
9. They Worry About Their Health as Older Parents
Being an older parent comes with concerns about health and longevity. Women who start their parenting journey later often worry about how their age will affect their ability to keep up with their kids as they grow or to be there for major milestones. This fear of not being around long enough to see their children thrive can weigh heavily, leading them to wonder if starting sooner might have eased some of these anxieties.
10. They Feel Their Partner Missed Out
Women who delayed having kids sometimes look back and feel that their partner missed out on a fuller parenting experience. Whether it’s the energy to play with their children or being able to take on more physical tasks, having kids later often puts additional strain on both parents. They may feel guilty or regretful, wishing they’d chosen to start sooner to give their partner a chance to be the parent they could have been at a younger age.
11. They Didn’t Anticipate How Time Would Fly
Time has a way of sneaking up on us, and women who have children later often feel like they underestimated how quickly the years would pass. By the time their kids are grown, they wish they had started sooner to enjoy more of the little moments, from first steps to first loves. Realizing they could have had more time to cherish their children’s milestones leaves them reflecting on how fleeting these years truly are.
12. They Found Parenting Harder on Their Bodies
Parenting is physically demanding, and for women who wait to have kids, the physical toll can feel even heavier. Chasing toddlers, carrying babies, and sleepless nights all add up—and they’re harder to manage as we age. Women often regret not having kids when their bodies were more resilient, wishing they’d been able to handle the physical challenges of motherhood with greater ease and less strain. The aches and exhaustion can serve as a constant reminder of starting later.
13. They Regret Being Too Focused on Perfection
For many women, delaying motherhood came from wanting everything “just right” before starting a family—financial security, career stability, or the perfect partner. But looking back, they realize there’s no such thing as perfect timing. Many regret waiting so long to feel “ready,” wishing they had taken the leap sooner and figured things out as they went. They see now that the joy of raising kids often outweighs the need for a flawless plan.