Selfishness isn’t always loud and obvious—the chronically selfish don’t even realize how their actions impact those around them. Whether it’s their lack of empathy or inability to see beyond their needs, these behaviors turn people off and damage relationships. Here are things seriously selfish people have no idea they’re even doing.
1. They Demand VIP Treatment
Chronically selfish people feel entitled to special treatment. They believe they deserve more attention, better service, or faster responses than others. They become indignant when they don’t get it, acting like the world owes them something. This sense of entitlement often strains relationships, as they expect others to cater to their needs without offering much in return.
2. They Take But Never Give Back
In relationships, selfish people are takers. They drain others emotionally, financially, or physically, offering little in return. After spending time with them, you may feel exhausted or unappreciated because they never reciprocate the care or effort they receive. Over time, this imbalance can leave the giver feeling resentful and used.
3. They Hijack the Conversation
Chronically selfish people dominate conversations, cutting others off mid-sentence to share their stories or opinions. They rarely listen thoroughly because they focus more on what they want to say next. As a result, conversations feel one-sided, leaving others unheard and undervalued, making relationships feel more like a monologue than a dialogue.
4. They Steer the Focus Back to Them
No matter the situation—whether it’s a celebration or a struggle—selfish people find a way to bring the focus back to themselves. Even in moments that should be about others, they hijack the conversation to highlight their own experiences, often diminishing the significance of someone else’s moment. This constant need for attention shows a lack of empathy and care for those around them.
5. They Never Offer Help
Unless there’s something in it for them, selfish people avoid helping others. They tend to be mysteriously unavailable when you need assistance, yet they expect immediate help when needed. Over time, it becomes clear that their relationships are more about taking than giving, leaving others to feel unsupported and neglected.
6. They Act Like Victims
Even when they’re wrong, selfish people twist the narrative to make themselves the victim. They deflect responsibility by focusing on how they’ve been wronged, shifting sympathy their way while ignoring the real issue. This tactic allows them to avoid accountability while manipulating others into feeling sorry for them.
7. They Seethe Over the Smallest Slight
Selfish people have difficulty letting go of even the most minor slights. Whether it’s a casual comment or a minor inconvenience, they’ll remember and hold it against you long after the situation should be resolved. They tend to blow minor disagreements out of proportion. Chronically selfish people have fragile egos. Even mild criticism or well-meaning suggestions can set them off. They take things personally and react defensively, often becoming angry or upset when their behavior is questioned.
8. They Never Ask About You
In conversations, selfish people rarely show genuine interest in how others are doing. Their questions, if any, are surface-level, and they don’t follow up to show real concern. They’re much more interested in talking about their own life than hearing about anyone else’s, making the relationship feel one-sided and unbalanced.
9. They Don’t Know Their Place
Whether it’s emotional boundaries or time commitments, selfish people often overstep. They expect others to drop everything for them and don’t consider how their actions impact others’ schedules or personal space. When someone sets a boundary, they tend to ignore or challenge it, showing a lack of respect for the needs and limits of others.
10. They Fish for Compliments
Selfish people constantly need praise and validation from others. Whether it’s fishing for compliments or needing acknowledgment for even small tasks, they crave attention and recognition. This behavior makes it seem like their self-worth is tied entirely to external approval, making relationships feel more like a support system for their ego than a mutual connection.
11. They Downplay Their Bad Behavior
When a selfish person’s behavior causes emotional harm, they tend to brush it off rather than deal with it. Instead of acknowledging the pain they’ve caused, they dismiss it, leaving others feeling invalidated or like their feelings don’t matter. This lack of accountability can cause deep emotional wounds in relationships over time.
12. They Never Say Thank You
While they might say “thank you” when it suits them, selfish people rarely express deep, sincere gratitude. They often take others’ kindness and support for granted, expecting to be catered to without showing genuine appreciation. This lack of gratitude can make others feel unappreciated and used.
13. They Use Subtle Manipulation Tactics
Selfish people often use manipulation to achieve their goals. This can be subtle, like using guilt trips, or more overt, like making threats or demands. They twist situations to benefit themselves, leaving others feeling taken advantage of. Over time, these tactics erode trust and goodwill in their relationships.
14. They Refuse to Compromise
When it comes to decision-making, selfish people often refuse to meet others halfway. They push for their way, even when a compromise would be fairer. They don’t consider how their unwillingness to bend affects the people around them, expecting others to adapt to their needs. This rigid approach makes it difficult to resolve conflicts or collaborate effectively.
15. They Make Excuses for Their Behavior
Rather than owning up to selfish actions, they often make excuses to justify why they behaved a certain way. Whether blaming circumstances or other people or claiming ignorance, they rarely take responsibility for their selfish tendencies, making it difficult to address the issue. This avoidance allows them to continue behaving selfishly without any real consequences.