How Narcissists Behave When They Lose Their Grip On You

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Nothing feels better than finally seeing a narcissist for what and who they are and freeing yourself from the shackles of a relationship of any kind with them. However, don’t expect them to go quietly — once they realize they can’t get one over on you anymore, it won’t be long before they start scrambling by doing these things.

1. They’ll Throw a Pity Party

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Narcissists often resort to playing the victim card, sharing tales of their past hardships or trauma. This manipulation tactic aims to garner sympathy and emotionally tie you closer to them. They hope to maintain control over your emotions and loyalty by portraying themselves as victims.

2. They’ll Sabotage Your Support Systems

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In an attempt to isolate you further, narcissists may target your relationships with friends and family. They’ll employ tactics like spreading rumors, creating misunderstandings, or sowing discord. Sabotaging your support systems ensures you have less emotional strength outside of the relationship.

3. They’ll Twist Your Words to Suit Their Narrative

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Narcissists love pretending to be extremely concerned about your well-being as a guise to gain information. They want to understand your activities, interactions, and thoughts. This information may later be used against you as they twist your words and actions to fit their narrative. They’re gaslighting you by making you feel bad for calling out their behavior since they claim they’re only doing it because they care.

4. They’ll Pretend to Be Sad and Vulnerable

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Some narcissists pretend to be vulnerable by opening up about their insecurities or past mistakes. This vulnerability act is a calculated move to appear more relatable and evoke empathy from you. They hope that you’ll feel guilty for considering distancing yourself from someone who seems to be struggling.

5. They’ll Make You Feel Indebted to Them

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Gifts and favors from narcissists are not purely acts of kindness. They’re often used strategically to create a sense of indebtedness. By offering assistance or presents, they aim to make you feel obligated to stay in the relationship as if you owe them something in return.

6. They’ll Sew the Seeds of Doubt

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Narcissists employ subtle tactics to make you question your own judgment and mental stability. They will cast doubt on your memory, perceptions, or understanding of events. This psychological manipulation can lead to self-doubt and confusion, making it harder for you to trust your instincts.

7. They’ll Flex Their Ego More than Ever

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Narcissists may seek validation from external sources to boost their egos and regain control. They may exaggerate their accomplishments, virtues, or desirability on social media or in front of friends. This external validation reinforces their self-worth and asserts dominance.

8. They’ll Resort to Passive-Aggressive Comments

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Rather than direct criticism, some narcissists use subtle and passive-aggressive comments to chip away at your self-esteem. Sarcasm, backhanded compliments, and veiled insults can erode your confidence and make you question your self-worth.

9. They’ll Adopt a Martyr Persona

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Narcissists may suddenly present themselves as martyrs, claiming they make significant sacrifices for the relationship. This tactic aims to guilt-trip you into staying and making concessions. They want you to feel that they’ve given up so much for you, creating an emotional debt you’re expected to repay.

10. They’ll Pretend They’re Indifferent

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In a bid to regain control, some narcissists may act indifferent, as if they no longer care about the relationship or your feelings. This emotional withdrawal is designed to trigger your fear of abandonment, making you seek their approval and attention. It’s a manipulative way to reassert dominance.

11. They’ll Imply They’re a “Misunderstood Genius”

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Some narcissists portray themselves as misunderstood geniuses or visionaries. They may claim to possess exceptional talents or insights that others fail to recognize. This tactic aims to inflate their ego and convince you that they’re unique and indispensable.

12. They’ll Hijack Your Goals and Achievements

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Narcissists might try to take credit for your accomplishments or hijack your goals. They’ll downplay your contributions and exaggerate their role in your success. This behavior is intended to assert dominance and make you dependent on their validation.

13. They’ll Suddenly Have a Selective Memory

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Narcissists may conveniently have selective memory when confronted with past behavior or promises. They might deny previous statements or actions, making it challenging to hold them accountable for their actions. This tactic aims to gaslight you into doubting your own recollections.

14. They’ll Fake an Emergency

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Narcissists may manufacture crises or emergencies to regain your attention and emotional investment. They’ll make it seem like only they can solve these issues, manipulating you into focusing on them and their problems instead of your own needs.

15. They’ll Become Intellectual Snobs

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Some narcissists employ intellectual snobbery, belittling your ideas or interests as inferior or unsophisticated. They want to position themselves as superior and make you feel inadequate, undermining your self-esteem.

16. They’ll Act All Enlightened

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Narcissists may claim to have achieved a higher level of enlightenment or self-awareness. They’ll use this as a basis for offering unsolicited life advice and criticizing your choices. This tactic aims to establish themselves as authorities and diminish your autonomy.

17. They’ll Use Ambiguity as a Control Tactic

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Narcissists may communicate ambiguously or withhold information intentionally. They want to put you in a state of uncertainty, making you more reliant on them for clarity. This behavior reinforces their position of control in the relationship.

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