Being single can be fun for a while, but rolling solo 24/7 gets a little old at a certain point. It’s natural to want a partner, but coupling up comes down to timing, compatibility, and being in the right headspace. Here are 12 signs you’re not ready for a relationship, no matter how much you want one.
1. You’re Struggling with the Ex Factor
You’re not ready for a relationship if you’re still not over your last one. Depending on how long you were with your ex, it might be a while before you’ve truly processed your feelings and closed that chapter in your life. Until that day comes, you can’t build something new with someone else. Give yourself time to heal to give your next relationship the best chance of success.
2. You Think All Men Are Jerks
How can you expect to find love if you don’t believe it truly exists? If you think all men are liars and cheaters who will inevitably let you down, why are you even interested in dating in the first place? It makes sense to temporarily lose faith in love when you’ve been hurt or let down, but if you carry this attitude with you, you’ll likely end up alone.
3. Your Standards Are Sky High
It’s important to have standards when it comes to relationships, and it’s totally fine to have preferences or a bit of a wishlist for the type of person you want to date. However, if you write people off for insignificant things like having the “wrong” hair color or liking a band you think is lame, it’s a sign you’re not ready for a relationship. Keep an open mind—you never know what (or who!) you might miss out on.
4. You’re Not a Super Fan of Commitment
There’s such a thing as ethical non-monogamy, but unless you’re openly seeking a polyamorous or no-strings-attached arrangement, the expectation is usually exclusivity with a partner. If you’ve cheated in past relationships or don’t like the idea of being tied down, it might be best to stay single for a bit longer.
5. You Have Major Trust Issues
Another massive sign that you’re not ready for a relationship, this one ties into thinking all men suck. For a relationship to survive and thrive, there has to be trust. You need to believe your partner has your best interest at heart and vice versa. Otherwise, it’ll never work. If trusting others feels impossible, you need to work on it before jumping into the dating pool.
6. You’re Sick of Being Alone
Having a partner should complement your life, not complete it. Before you get into a relationship, it’s crucial that you feel comfortable in your own company and have a full life that doesn’t depend on another person to make it fulfilling. If you believe a relationship will cure your loneliness and sadness, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
7. You Don’t Really Have Time
Maybe you’re finishing a doctorate degree or grinding your way up the corporate ladder with 60+ hour weeks. Maybe you’re training for a marathon or planning to climb Mt. Everest. Whatever’s taking up your time and energy, if you have little left for anything else, it’s a clear sign you’re not ready for a relationship (at least not right now).
8. You Need to Work on Your Self-Esteem
Everyone has insecurities, but you need to ensure your self-confidence is in check before considering a relationship. If the voice in your head constantly puts you down and tells you you’re not attractive or worthy enough, focus on improving your relationship with yourself first. Start a gratitude practice, write down three things you like about yourself every day, and watch your mindset shift.
9. You Haven’t Stepped into Your Power
If you crave attention or praise from others to feel good about yourself, you’re not in the right headspace for a relationship. Being with someone should add to your life, not be the source of your self-worth. Take the time to work on your confidence and self-worth; if you don’t, you’ll attract broken birds and people who take advantage of you.
10. You’re Not Over Your Party Phase
If you’re still in the phase of going out every night, partying, and living life on a whim, it might be tough to settle into a partnership that requires stability and emotional presence. You can’t fully invest in a relationship when you live for the weekend and prioritize going out and having fun over everything else. Get it out of your system first.
11. You’re Not in the Right Headspace
Relationships require emotional intimacy, which means letting someone see the real you. If you’ve built walls and are scared to let them down, that’s a sign you’re not ready to let someone in. A fear of vulnerability will keep you from forming the deep connections that relationships need to grow and frustrate the heck out of your partner.
12. You Don’t Know Yourself Enough
Before you can be with someone else, you need to know who you are. If you’ve no idea what you want in life or your goals and values, it’s best to hold off on entering a relationship until you feel self-aware and emotionally mature. A strong sense of identity will make for a healthier, more fulfilling partnership when the time is right.